Swim Society Stories : Montana

by Swim Society on October 13, 2021

"One thing I didn’t realise, is that mental health will affect all of us at some point in our lives"

On world mental health day, I like to reflect on my journey with mental health and how it has made me the person I am today. One thing I didn’t realise, is that mental health will affect all of us at some point in our lives. People somehow like to view it as a weakness but really, some of the most intelligent, most wonderful and intricate people are the ones that have dealt with mental health since a very young age. We are all individual people, that have different levels of sensitivity, feeling and emotions. If you’re dealing with mental health you are probably a deep feelers which means you may be more sensitive to life. Some people see this as a negative, but imagine your cells being more sensitive to emotions and your surroundings. In my eyes if you’re feeling more and your emotional range is more complex than others, it means you can love harder, lead with compassion, and most importantly, understand people at a deeper level.

When I suffered from mild depression, I struggled with motivation, feeling aches inside my body and seeing the outside in shades of monochrome. I lost my friend to suicide and I have to say, it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure. Never had a pain like it, I felt heartbroken and that I would never recover. I remember feeling that I’m not doing anything in my life to help others. I remember feeling I had no purpose and that I wasn’t making a difference to anyone’s life. I spent a lot of time alone, wondering if I was going loopy as I was speaking to the clouds as if it was my friend. But in that moment of complete brokenness, it allowed me to hit an all time low which ultimately meant the only way was up. I had a few months of soul searching and wondering what the meaning of life was, and then I realised that I have to make a choice to wake up everyday and be grateful. I have to remind myself to be thankful because every day is a true blessing. Growing older is nothing but a privilege, as some people do not make it this far. I now live my life being grateful for the things that I do have, and we all have a long list I think we just have a tendency to forget.

We’re all humans, who should be connecting and relating to each others experiences with mental health. It can be a very scary place being alone with your thoughts which is why this day is so important to raise awareness and to reach out. Speak up, share your story, as you’ll be helping somebody more than you will ever know.

Mon x

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